Do you ever have those days, weeks, months
where everywhere you look you think to yourself
"wow they are so lucky, I wish I had what they do!"
Well, that's been me...I've been a "I wish I lived on the other side of the fence" type of gal lately
Well, that's been me...I've been a "I wish I lived on the other side of the fence" type of gal lately
I was totally enjoying my little pity party too until I got the sweetest email from a reader
It went a little something like...
{they were sweet enough to give me permission to post the email for all of you to read}
"Dear Brittany,
I just wanted to let you know that I truly love reading your blog. I know you have cut back for the summer since your sweet boys are in town, but none the less, I look forward to every post you write. I only hope to have style like you one day, a family as as sweet and precious and a home so darling. I have recently lost 50 pounds and just starting to really feel good about myself. I love to see your outfit posts and all your outfits that fit your tiny body so well! Hopefully one day I will meet my target weight loss goal and look like you....well a brunette version at least. ha ha ha. Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound too stalker-ish but I wanted to let you know how much I look up to you and love your blog. Keep up the good work and please enjoy your summer with your family.
sincerely,
C
{name was kept private at the request of the writer}Well C this really made me think...
As much as you flattered me I had to laugh...
I don't think ANY of the things about myself and my life that you do!
I don't think ANY of the things about myself and my life that you do!
as I was telling my friend about this sweet email
{this email, by the way, made my whole week}
She told me a story...
That she was having a week like me, that she was jealous of everyone around her and everything!
She was telling another friend of her jealousy for her life and her friend laughed and said "oh are you jealous that my husband has cheated on my twice too?"totally in a serious/funny tone!
She was telling another friend of her jealousy for her life and her friend laughed and said "oh are you jealous that my husband has cheated on my twice too?"totally in a serious/funny tone!
SHOCK set in for my friend?
REALLY this perfect life she thought her friend had wasn't at all what she thought is was
OR
when my mom called me to tell me she ran into a lady I used to work with YEARS ago and how lucky she was to live in a beautiful house by the lake and have a brand new Range Rover and only work for the fun of it, only for me to remind my mom that that lady was fired for drug use!
YOU TRULY NEVER KNOW WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!
So I am here to tell you all...
THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER!
You may think life is better on the other side of the fence but you truly never know, and to let Miss C and all you know that I in fact DO NOT have a perfect life either....
I am going to let you in a few things :
1.) I do not have a tiny body
I currently weight 123 pounds and am 5"4
not fat by any means but let me tell you...I am getting squishy! {this is also about 8lbs over my normal weight}
{picture was take about a week ago at lake powell - please see belly for proof of point...lol}
2.) Most of the time my house is a mess
3.) A live in my in-laws basement
{enough said there...}
4.) I am my own worst critic and VERY hard on myself
5.) I don't ever excercise...probably explains number 1 and 4 pretty well! Lol
6.) we only have one car
7.) I am on my second marriage
{I was married once before at 20yrs old for 10 months}
{me and my mom at my first wedding}
8.) Although I love my husband and kids it's VERY hard at times marrying someone with kids and dealing with an ex wife I could write a NOVEL about all the drama and stress we have been through!
9.) I have a BIG secret that only a handful of people know about but I am way TOO scared to share it or verbally admit to it...maybe one day I will be brave enough like this girl to share my story
10.) I have gray hairs...not many but they are there ;)
so I know it's not much but here is a little glimps into my not so perfect life....
No one is perfect
No one has the perfect life
Sure it seems that way sometimes
but try to look to the positive in your life and be
grateful for what you have
Crossing the "fence" is just trading your problems for someones else's
Have you ever had one of THESE weeks?...where everyone else's lifes look better than your own?
I would LOVE it if you would share your
grass is greener story
or
Share ONE positive thing about your life with me today
Happy Monday Everyone!
I think we've definitely all been there at one time or another but I do try to step back every so often and really appreciate how extremely lucky and fortunate I am. There's always ups and downs but I have a great life.
ReplyDeletehow bout i share a negative thing?! since everyone always thinks MY life is perfect, huh?
ReplyDeletewe are in so much debt it makes me wanna PUKE everytime i think about it. probably 200k of debt. and we barely just tread water with it. going no where. no savings. no college funds. no retirement. WE. SUCK.
aaaaaand now i wanna cry :T
ok i just re-read that and now i feel like such a downer. on the plus side, my husband is seriously HOT and i have 5 awesome kids. is that betteR?
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY needed this today thank you so much for helping me put things in perspective. I actually woke up this morning feeling like I needed a pity party for myself. But you are totally right, no one has it perfect and we all have our struggles. It's how we get through them at the end of the day that matters. I feel like I am so behind on everything in life because I haven't started my masters degree at a super good school I'm probably never going to get into, have 100 lbs to lose due to stupid thyroid cancer, and haven't started my own company yet. Looking at those things as I write them now I can see how silly they are, I'm only 28 and I don't have Donald Trump as a dad. Thanks for being so real and remindind us that we need to take each day in stride and be thankful for what we already have.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Brittany! Its a great reminder that what you perceive isn't always the truth. You and Mrs. C are super brave for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post, nobody has the "perfect" life we sometimes think we see and its good to be reminded of that. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteOmg I wish I weighed 123lbs at 5'4" Im that height and got at least 30lbs on you ;) I however, dont think it would fit my frame anyhow. I LOVE that you are brave and posted yourself in a suit! :) That seriously rocks. You really are your own worst critic and just remember that! How you see yourself is not how others always see you :) Which can be an amazing boost of confidence honestly. I feel fat but when my husband tells me Im not randomly it makes my heart smile. Take every compliment you can get and turn that forward into positive energy. If you are quick to focus on the negative your just gonna miss out. I really give you props for this post though!!! People do not know what goes on behind doors at all! Its wrong to assume by appearances even though its really human nature.
ReplyDeleteOkay, this random but when I read your height/weight I felt excited that we could share clothes. You know...the next time I'm in your closet. Ha! Especially in the blogging world, we put out there what we want people to see and often times the result is a picture of a perfect person with the perfect life. But as you said, that doesn't exist.
ReplyDeleteBrittany,
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this post! It explains you so well and what you are going thru! I can SO relate! :/ Hang in there...you are beautiful... and next time you are in so cal...we are having coffee :) Deal?
Thanks for this post! It made me stop and think of all that I have! I love reading your blog and always look forward to it!
ReplyDeleteBritli
bits-of-this-and-that.blogspot.com
Hello! I have definatly been there. I think it is a season of my life, rather than just a week. I posted about it on my blog not that long ago. A girlfriend of mine wrote a comment that really helped me. Check out the blog and the comment. Thank you!
ReplyDeletehttp://mommymakesme.blogspot.com/2011/06/trapped.html?showComment=1307643894765#c2539134878918931209
This was a nice post- no one is perfect! I have had this feeling with /about my best friend for a while~ anywho...when I was in my second year of marriage, my husband was diagnosed with Cancer- Lymphoma stage 4 he was only 29 years old..we went through extensive chemo and meds and stuff,the same day he was diagnosed I found out I was pregnant too! Now, 5 years later~ we have a healthy girl and my husband is cancer free!!!!!!!!!! We also just had our second girl and life is great. You just have to take each day at a time and love yourself! Take NOTHING for granted and not look at others like they have better than you- just focus on your family and their happiness! Thanks girly for listening! Have a great day! Stop by and say Hello!
ReplyDeleteJamie
lovelongtime.blogspot.com
it's true, nobody is perfect and we need to remind ourselves of that sometimes. That the life we have is perfect for us, and someone else's life wouldn't be. everyone has their struggles, problems and secrets. I guess that's why we have to sit down once in a while and count our blessings for the life we have, however Unperfect it may be. :)
ReplyDeleteIt seems that it is always that way, we look at other people's lives and wish we had that. But sometimes we have things that even the richest most beautiful person doesnt have. I had it all once. Me and my husband made 100k a year, both had nice cars, traveled, and went shopping every weekend. Today we live with my parents, own one old car that is always falling apart, my husband barley makes enough money to get us by each month (I stay at home with my son, day care is way to much money for me to work), and we had to file bankruptcy. Things change and now I always admire the little things people have that they may take for granted. I wish I had my own place, I wish I drove a nice car, I wish I had money to go shopping, I wish I could go on date nights with my hubby. But I think now I feel blessed for what I DO have and not what I DONT have! I know one day I will be in a better situation I just need to remember to stay positive.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post, it make me feel better knowing that other people go through the same stuff in their lives.
That's a good way to put things into perspective! And VERY brave of you to share your imperfections! :) I have these weeks too. For example... I wish I was doing something else for my career... BUT I have a job in a time when a lot of people don't.
ReplyDeleteI love it Brittany! I always say "the grass my be greener, but it's just as hard to mow"! SO TRUE!
ReplyDeleteI'm a lot like you...very hard on myself, always have been. But when I sit back and look at my life, it's great how it is :)
I love your blog :) I don't think you look squishy at all! I'm also 5'4" and have about 25 pounds on ya... that is squishy ;) I take pics from the neck up usually.
ReplyDeleteIt's so funny, I just posted about my own hang-ups about perfection - http://silveroutlinedwindow.wordpress.com/2011/07/03/living-scrambled-in-a-sunny-side-world/
Although every day is STILL a struggle - I hope one day to just let it go and just be.
I love this post. Perfectly said. Everyone is his/her worst critic! It is so wonderful to be reminded to look around at what all is going WELL for us! My motto this summer was "it's not all about me"...I would nit pick forever with hair, make-up and clothes to go anywhere and realized how ridiculously self centered it was of me to assume everyone would be concerned with me....haha...."it's not all about me!" Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate this post, because I have gotten so caught up in the comparison game lately, that I thought maybe I need to stop browsing blogs if all I'm going to do is use them as proof of how inadequate my life is. It honestly seems like everyone else's life is perfect and that EVERYone is better off than me, but obviously that can't be the case. I appreciate your post because now at least I'm not the only one who feels like that from time to time. :) thank you!!
ReplyDeleteBrittany, thank you so much for this post! I really needed it today. You are absolutely amazing. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGirl, if you read my blog from yesterday, you'd know that I've had the worst week ever! But yes, we need to be thankful for things we DO have. Positive prayers to you!
ReplyDeleteGreat post and don't feel bad...you def. aren't alone in feeling like this. We all do it now and again, the important thing is have your quick pity party and then be grateful. You know what they say...If everyone tossed their problems into a pile, you'd reach in quickly to get yours back.
ReplyDeleteChin up and the positives....you have people who love you!! What more does a girl need?? :0)
This is an awesome post!!! For the record, it doesn't matter if you're squishy or not, you are a beautiful woman. You write a really great blog that I always try and make time to read and think you're pretty awesome! Don't be so hard on yourself. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulously written post Brittany. From this post YOU have made me open my eyes a little and realize that the Grass isn't always greener. I often find myself thinking 'I wish I was thin like her", "I wish I had hair like her", "I wish I has a house like her" - pretty much all the "I wish" that you mentioned in your blog post. Along side 'C", I have too found myself saying 'I wish I had hair like Brittany", "I wish I had talent like Brittany". Ofcourse I still wish that, but am realizing that it's ok to be me. It's ok to be alittle over-weight me. It's ok to be that girl who shared her secret with the blogging world to see.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post - it has seriously made my day :)
Keep smiling Brittany. xoxo
I LOVE this post. Thank you "C" for sharing and thank YOU for tellin' it like it is ;)
ReplyDeleteI definitely think all of us go through this at some point or another. Right now I'm unemployed (and have been for 8 months), my husband and I live with my parents because we can't afford our own place right now. And sometimes I'd really like to have my own house, a job, and a whole passel of kids - just like I see other people having. But I have to remember, like you said, all of these things come with their own headaches. My life really isn't so bad, anyways...
ReplyDeleteI have those weeks about once a month and yep they coincide with that other thing that happens once a month. I spend the whole week feeling VERY down about myself and comparing myself to everyone else. Last week was particularity bad for me and I found this quote: "Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others & wishing to be something we aren't. Everybody has there own strengths & weaknesses, & it is only when you accept everything you are - & aren't - that you will truly succeed."
ReplyDeleteI need to print it out so I can read it during my bad weeks!
Brittany, This young girl opened up to you about how she is losing weight and proud of it. She didn't really need you to then go and tell her your life isn't perfect and that you weigh 123 pounds(that is actually underweight for your height). Let's start to put things in perspective girls. No one feels sorry for you. You had great lives, you don't have to work and you look great.
ReplyDeletedon't we all have a list?? If I lived near you, we'd be good friends. HAHa. I'm also 5'4" and weight about the same as you do...I've been working out...sort of...kinda been lazy lately. I think as long as you are happy, other things in life do not matter. I got a flat on my car today, my week has been crazy and hectic, people need me to do this and that and want to meet about this and that, our tv burnt out last week - had to get a new one, i need a new computer for school this fall, my friend is getting married (spending $$ on bridesmaid stuff), blar! lol
ReplyDeleteI'm incredibly hard on myself and can't say no to people. I've never been married, but have been dating the same guy for almost 8 years (this oct)... people always ask - why are you not married yet? Marriage doesn't mean we are not happy together ;)
no one's perfect, but lots of people can be happy with their life no matter if it looks unglamorous to another. So you just got to look at the positives in your life.
Brittany we have all been there! But I am choosing joy and gratitude today (thanks Kay Warren!) I am healthy, I have a husband who loves me, my kids are healthy and with me. I have Jesus. That is all that matters! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI love this: Crossing the "fence" is just trading your problems for someones else's
ReplyDeleteSo true. Great post, really made me think. Its nice to appreciate what we have and not always long for whats on the other side. Thanks for the reminder.
And "squishy" or not, you are gorgeous! :) Im a lot more squishy than you! haha
B-
ReplyDeleteJust discovered your blog thru Little Miss Momma
I recently had a week where I was sad and a jealous that I was missing out on what my best friends have back in Mpls (midwest girl living in Phx now) and struggling with knowing I have my dream job but yet I am finding myself wanting to be at home with my baby girl. I could go on and on, but I need to realize at the end of the day life is never perfect, people are never perfect, but what matters is what blessings God has given us.
I love this post Brittany. I would have to write a whole post to share mine with you or even a book, really!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing it with us. Perhaps you have inspired me to go there on a post, we'll have to wait and see if I can build up the courage.
This post is SO true. I have a husband that everyone loves! They don't see what happens behind closed doors. He is rude and full of anger. He is unfaithful and blames me. We put on our games faces on in public and live up to the life everyone expects we have. In reality I dream of the day I am happy again.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, people have problems! The beat part of blogging is the choice of what we share. I am so proud of you for sharing your imperfections!
I am so thankful I read this today. You are incredibly amazing. ;)
ReplyDeleteDealing with my myriad of difficult health issues AND being a momma, I definitely have those "grass is greener!" days. However, I am extremely grateful for every day I get to spend with my daughter, even if that 24 hours is filled with laundry, dishes, messes, whining, etc. Because it means she is here, I am here; we are both alive and that is more than any doctor ever thought possible.
xo.
Yes, we are all our worst critics. And many of us have it together on the outside, but not always behind the door :)
ReplyDeleteI've had people tell me that I do it all and they don't know how I do. But I have my issues a plenty, too. No one is perfect.
And 'Anonymous'...that just wasn't nice.
ha..........I have months long weeks like this:(
ReplyDeletetotally understand where you are coming from:(
Love your post!! I guess Monday was kind of a "tell all" day for both of us...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.lilluna.com/2011/07/truth-about-blogging.html
:)
We've all been there. And I'm with ya' I have a husband I love more than anything and 3 "older" step children who I love, but it's his ex and the drama that ensues every time she's involved in something (which seems to be very regularly) that REALLY tests my patience. I don't think my husband appreciates how hard it is on the other side too. Having said that-- I truly believe that every thing happens for a reason so... maybe I have been brought to this place to show my step-children how you SHOULD behave.
ReplyDeleteI found your post from little miss momma and I am seeing why she loves u soo much! Love the post mainly b/c I am sooo feeling that any grass is greener than me right now!!! I think as a momma it is always easy to judge yourself harshly and think you could always be doing better! That is my problem I am wondering how in the world so many women can look fabulous all of the time, have a clean house, and take their kids on tons of adventurous field trips. I can barely get out of my pjs somedays..okay most days!! So I am hoping that by reading ur post I will start to realize that I am doing just fine :D HOPING!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm always a smidge happy-jealous of the bloggers who seem to do a better time keeping up with their crafts and blogs. But I wouldn't trade the opportunities I've had to pursue my educational and career goals, even if it means I can't blog at work ;)
ReplyDeletei love this post and the timing is perfect! it's been a bittersweet week for me and i have cried buckets over finding out my dad has a health issue...though it is crappy i need to remember my blessings and sweet miracles in my life and that i'm not the only one going through hard issues. thanks for the post!
ReplyDeletethank you so much for posting this. I think everyone could use a reminder of the positives in their lives instead of trying to compare themselves to others. Also, I am someone who struggles with weight issues and I just want to thank you for being confident enough in your own skin to post a pic of urself even if u are not your "normal" weight. You are inspriational. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this!!! I am guilty of this very thing far too often. I blog stalk reading all the great things that others are so fortunate to have and covet those things for myself. I have such a wonderful husband who reminds me that all those "things" that others have come with a price--we just never know what that is. Reading your post helped to solidify what he has told me all along. The grass isnt always greener so be thankful for all that we have!!! I love your blog and I love how real you are. thanks so much for being you.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy and healthy right now and that's a good thing. Life isn't perfect and I make the best of it (it's perfect to "me"); and if someone says it is they aren't telling the whole truth. Thanks for sharing these 2 stories. It's nice to get confirmation that life isn't perfect and each of us have to work at it. By the way, I think you look just fine regardless of the belly (but, you gave me a little chuckle). And I love that you talk about your family on your blog and being a step-parent I think is a big, big, big job and a lot of hard work. *cheers* to you!
ReplyDeleteI think so many women especially are guilty of this. I know that I do it all the time too!
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I too, think that you are just awesome. You're so super sweet, talented, and thoughtful. I loved having lunch with you and Lester last month, it seriously made me way happy to see you guys... I wish I lived closer so we could hang out more!
I love this brutally truthful blog post you did! AND the fact you had the guts to post a photo of you in a bikini! You ROCK!!!
ReplyDelete