I was scared

Here is a little look into my life...this is my most recent post from my personal family blog : 

A LITTLE SCARE : 

10/26/2010

Judging by the title you would think this was HALLOWEEN themed...

BUT NOPE this little scare was a REAL LIFE SCARE!

There is one word that REALLY scares me...I mean terrifies me

CANCER

and last week my faith was really tested when it came to that one little scary word!

I found a LUMP IN MY NECK....

well truthfully it's been there for about a year....but it was just a small little pea sized bump that I figured was just a swollen gland

BUT 

all of a sudden it grew, and grew, and grew

it tripled in size in just three short months!

FEAR
PANIC
WORRY
PAIN

are only a few of the words to describe what I was thinking and feeling!

SO to make as L O N G story short...I FINALLY went to the doctor after the pressure it was putting on my ear was too much to handle

(and maybe a little "pushing" from my grandma Jenna...thx Jen love you!)

My white blood cell count was a little high...So my Dr

 immediately wanted to run a BUNCH of tests...

but one small problem...

I HAVE NO INSURANCE :-/

So step one was an ultra sound of the neck to see what we were dealing with!

 I was actually really calm and NOT too worried when I got there

UNTIL 

the tech started the ultra sound

As soon as I saw A WHOLE CLUSTER OF LUMPS i really started to freak out!
I was CONVINCED I had cancer! 

after MANY tears and what seemed like a milion hours later

I FINALLY GOT THE CALL

it was my doctor...

NO CANCER!!!
the best two little words I could have heard that day!!!

It was just a bad infection that settled in my glands and "hopefully" a dose of antibiotics will clear it up!

I don't know if I have ever experienced that kind of fear in one day before...It was a horrible feeling! 

I am SO glad that the outcome was positive and it made me really think about all the people that do / or have suffered from cancer in their lives! 

My heart just aches for all of them!

I was sent this sad but beautiful email today that I want to share with all of you : 

The wedding. 



Her name is Katie Kirkpatrick, 21 yrs old. Next to her is her fiance Nick, 23.
This picture was taken prior to their wedding January 11th, 2005.
Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours in chemotherapy.
Here Nick awaits while she finishes one of the sessions....

Even in pain and dealing with her organs shutting down, with the help of morphine,
Katie took care of every single part of the wedding planning.
Her dress had to be adjusted several times due to Katie 's constant weight loss.


An expected guest was her oxygen tank. Katie had to use it during the ceremony and reception.
The other couple in this picture is Nick's parents, very emotional with the wedding and to see their
Son marrying the girl he fell in love when he was an adolescent.


Katie , in a wheel chair listening to her husband and friends singing to her.

In the middle of the party, Katie had to rest for a bit and catch her breath.
The pain does not allow her to stand for long period of time.


Katie died 5 days after her wedding. To see a fragile woman dress as bride with a beautiful smile
 Makes you think... Happiness is always there within reach, no matter how long it lasts.....
Lets enjoy life and don't live a complicated life. Life is too short.

Work as if it was your first day. 
Forgive as soon as possible. 
Love without boundaries.. 
Laugh without control 
And never stop smiling. 
Please pray for those suffering from cancer. 
We all have close to our heart.